


Some Semblance of the Future

by Chamomile



Series: A Moment in Time [4]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-12
Updated: 2013-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-29 17:14:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12089628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chamomile/pseuds/Chamomile
Summary: "I would rather not live in an Eorzea without you, either." (Part of the 'Moment in Time' series. Takes place after the 2.0 quest, 'The Black Wolf's Ultimatum'.)





	Some Semblance of the Future

She had been standing with her back against the wall, literally and figuratively. Kan-E-Senna held tightly to her Claustrum whenever a pang of unease ran through her, waiting for the grand palace doors to the Chamber of Rule to open…and for the Admiral to pass through them.

The Padjal knew not what to expect from Merlwyb. She replayed the events from earlier that night over and over in her mind: three other distraught leaders by her side, hopelessness closing in on all ends…Until they had burst through the chamber doors, immediately washing all worry away. Yes…the Scions of the Seventh Dawn were wont to bring hope wherever it was they went. And with Master Cid Garlond and that familiar little Second Lieutenant again at the Alliance’s side, shame immediately spread through her when the word “surrender” crossed her mind.

How could she have even considered such an option? Surrender was not an outcome for Gridania, nor was it for Limsa Lominsa or Ul’dah. It never was.

There was guilt, however, in standing up alone and presenting her will. She had agreed to follow Merlwyb to the end in a letter before all this, when any hope of resistance to the Empire was at an all-time low. The Elder Seedseer remembered her wording of that letter distinctly, as if the parchment stood before her eyes:

_“If we are to make a decision,”_ she had written, _“then we shall make that decision together. I will stand by your side, no matter the outcome.”_

But only in that moment of clarity did Kan-E realize her mistake. Part of that message was driven by fear of what was to come. What would they do if they had followed through with it? Would Kan-E ever meet with Merlwyb or write to her again without prying Garlean eyes?

No…She would not have that. There was no way. Her love for Gridania and its people was far too strong to ever give into that fear. Her love for the freedom of Eorzea, and the adventurers and blurred Warriors of Light who fought and perhaps even died for it all…it was enough to light the flame of battle in her tiny chest.

And, somewhere in the back of her mind, her love for Merlwyb drove her, as well.

With the strength of the Scions returned and her own will solidified, she boldly stood, slamming the base of the Claustrum to the ground as if calling for order between the leaders:

_“We Gridanians have no love for war…Yet we still have less for those who would threaten our homeland. Ever have we fought to protect those things we hold dear, and this shall never change.”_

The fire in her heart burnt ever brighter as she continued—she had seen the look of pure shock on the Admiral’s face, but disregarded it in that adrenaline-filled moment of bravery.

“ _Gridania will go to war,”_ she had spoken emphatically, _“We will fight the empire, for the sake of the realm and all who abide here!”_

The Sultana had laughed heartily, but was thankful for the statement. Raubahn, too, looked on her with surprise. Even Merlwyb had been in good spirits after the proposal. It did Kan-E’s heart good to see the positives in it all. They had decided their plan of attack, burnt the ultimatum documents to ash, and conversed further with the Scions on their cooperation.

When all was said and done, the Scions jovially left, ready to finalize their phases of the operation at their headquarters. The leaders, too, finished their preparations…which left Kan-E standing by the door, holding tightly to her staff and waiting for Merlwyb to finish her conversation with Raubahn in the Chamber.

She was still unsure as to what the Admiral would say to her. The Padjal’s words were spoken truly, but…anxiety still lurked within her. Perhaps because the idea of asserting her thoughts for the sake of the realm was still rather new to her. She hadn’t the opportunity to put it into practice until that very moment.

But those few years spent corresponding with Merlwyb and everything she’d learned in that time would not go to waste. She wouldn’t dream of disregarding all of that time with the Admiral, her lessons on leading a nation, just to give into fear—that was why she spoke up.

Kan-E had a feeling that Merlwyb wouldn’t be…upset, per se. But she doubted herself. She didn’t know why the Admiral seemed so shocked. That was why she stood waiting…so she could explain it all and make some sense of what she had done…because trying to reimagine it in her mind for the umpteenth time hadn’t worked.

The creaking sound of the ornate chamber doors echoed next to the Elder Seedseer, causing her to throw her gaze over to them without thinking. She held tighter to her staff, her knuckles growing pale from gripping it with such force.

Admiral Merlwyb passed through the doors, her eyes focused only on the hallway in front of her.

The Roegadyn looked prepared to exit, without even knowing who it was that stood by the wall behind her. Kan-E realized this, trying to force her mouth to move, to make herself known.

But the Admiral was always full of surprises, she found. She nearly jumped upon hearing that familiar voice address her.

“I had a feeling you would be waiting here,” Merlwyb acknowledged, turning her head slightly and meeting the stare of the nervous woman behind her. There was little emotion in the Admiral’s face…or rather, none that Kan-E could see from the distance between them.

“…Might I speak with you before you depart?” the Padjal managed to ask, somewhat surprised at the assertiveness of those words. Something tugged at her, urging her on how important this was, how she needed to explain all this.

Merlwyb’s expression remained unchanged, but there was a tiny nod. She finally turned to face the Elder Seedseer, casually walking up to Kan-E and looming in front of her. She raised an eyebrow, looking at least somewhat eager to listen.

Kan-E hesitated to speak, but when she finally found the right words, the Admiral seemed to, as well:

“Merlwyb, I—”

“Have you—”

They stared at each other silently with wide-eyed looks on their faces, until Kan-E was too embarrassed to even look the Admiral in the eyes anymore…this wasn’t going very well. What had happened to that bravery from before? Where had it disappeared to?!

She was determined to find it, even if this did turn out a mess.

“Ah,” Merlwyb shook her head, “You may speak first.”

Kan-E looked back to her, nodding slightly. Even then, she couldn’t keep her eyes on the Admiral, attempting to stare out at the ornate Ul’dahn chamber before her as she began to speak once again.

“…I believe I owe you an apology,” the Elder Seedseer mumbled, taking a deep breath in between, “I swore myself to whatever decision you made, yet I could not bear just standing idly by, waiting for the Black Wolf to conquer our lands.”

She stopped for a moment, waiting to see if the Admiral would make any response. But she did not—out of a strange little rush of bravery, Kan-E continued.

“I was apprehensive as to what course of action to take…and so I followed your example. Though, as I looked upon the Scions’ faces, I realized the folly of lacking my own decision. It terrified me to want to go to war…but there is little choice. An Eorzea without its freedom can scarcely be called Eorzea at all.” 

Somehow, she had found her muse to speak; her voice only grew stronger and more confident as her eyes finally met Merlwyb’s:

“How could we live in an Eorzea not our own? How could I assume surrender to be the best option, when I know not what lies ahead? How could I stand before you, knowing that I may never see you again if I were to simply give in…?! Was it not you who made me realize that a leader must keep their head held high, no matter how violent the coming storm may be…? I could not simply ignore those words, given to me by someone most dear. It would not be right…Not at all. That is why I—”

“That is enough.”

The Padjal froze as soon as Merlwyb’s hand was raised and her stern voice reached her ears. She was rather worried about that hand, somehow…But she was sure that Merlwyb would never raise a hand against her…it was probably just nerves, but…why would she even think of something like that?

The thought became even more absurd when that very same hand wrapped itself around Kan-E’s back, and then the other, closing the already short distance between her and the Admiral.

…Before she could even recognize it, something soft had brushed against the Padjal’s lips; Merlwyb had bent down to kiss her, holding her gently as Kan-E finally closed her eyes to return it. It had been nearly a moon since their last kiss. With all of the troubles of beastmen and primals growing rampant in their own nations, there was little time left for each other. It was so familiar…almost nostalgic. And, for Kan-E, perhaps some form of acceptance.

The Admiral slowly separated from her, smiling ever so slightly.

“You performed admirably,” she murmured, “Thank you.”

“…You are not angry?” a somewhat flushed Kan-E questioned.

“For what reason would I have been angry at you?” Merlwyb seemed amused by the question, but her voice grew gentler as she continued, “…We may have lost ourselves if it were not for you and the Scions. And, quite frankly…”

“Hm?”

“I would rather not live in an Eorzea without you, either,” Merlwyb smirked, “I will risk everything to protect that.”

“I see…” the Padjal nodded, her face growing red from the Admiral’s answer, “Then I shall do the same.”

Merlwyb offered Kan-E an arm to take, bringing back very fond memories of that palace and the night they had spent there, all that time ago…Gladly, she wrapped her arm around the Roegadyn’s, resting her head on her arm as they began to stroll through the palace. She wasn’t entirely sure where it was they were heading, but as the hallways grew more familiar, and the doors to the guest chambers came into view, she had an inkling as to where this was all heading.

“…Is the General aware that we are staying the night?” the Elder Seedseer asked innocently, tilting her head.

“I informed him of that before I spoke with you,” Merlwyb slyly replied, using her spare arm to motion Kan-E into the room, “After you, dearest.”

The Padjal playfully curtsied to her lover, feeling a wave of nostalgia come over her as she entered the all-too-familiar bedchamber with the Admiral following behind.

She wouldn’t give this Eorzea up for the world. If this was what the future was to be like, then she would gladly give her life to fight for it…and for Merlwyb.


End file.
